(no pictures this time round guys...Yes, I'm sorry..yes, pictures will be coming soon. I promise.)
Inspired by one of my internet besties blog post all about drifting, and getting sucked into, different forms of social media; and spending more time on that medium than reading or writing or drawing. I have decided to steal their idea and talk about my own experience with getting sucked into the deep, black pit of the Internet.
Ever since I was fourteen, I've always had a laptop, and had pretty much every creative account you can have on the world wide web. Fanfiction, DeviantART, LiveJournal, Facebook, Twitter, AO3...and Tumblr.
Oh, Tumblr. Swarming vortex of fandoms and feels and memes and social justice. The website that sucked me in and spat me out a very cynical, slightly brainwashed and addicted shell of my former self.
Now, don't get me wrong. I spent the better part of five years there and met my beautiful best friend, and countless other people whom I now consider dear, cherished friends there.
But was tumblr really a good, worth while thing to spend countless hours on a day? No matter how much fun I had at one time, no matter how pretty my blog was or how many followers I had. (which was a surprising amount that I was really proud of, and felt very thankful for) I was still spending all my time there. No longer reading, or writing things that were not co-written by friends, I'd wake up and scroll through my dash. I'd check it whenever I was bored. Which, because I was never doing anything else, happened a lot.
And this passed year, I'd notice it getting less and less appealing. So I'd leave it for a day, or only check it when I wasn't doing anything. I'd go all weekend without using it more than twice. But the thing was, it was still there. In the back of my mind I always knew if I got bored or was going on a long car ride or just wanted to rant about something that happened in my day to day life, I had a platform to do so. It was comforting. Even if I didn't even enjoy some of the things that I saw there.
It was like a baby blanket you're really attached to. You're six or seven and you're carrying around a faded, stained blankie that you're deathly attached to, but you know it's silly and you know you really shouldn't be so possessive and obsessed with it. But you are, and that's just how it is.
That was me with tumblr. For all the funny text posts, all the memes and Supernatural gifs or the Sherlock fandom whining about another hiatus. (2016 guys, we can make it) I outgrew it. Even though, when I clicked that delete button and five years, 17,000+ posts, seven hundred followers and pages upon pages of asks and conversations and posts that made me laugh and think and bond with people I barely knew. I honestly felt sick. With good reason, of course. Not even a week after getting rid of it, it still feels weird. It feels like I've lost an extent of my arm or something. I wonder if I did something stupid and impulsive....but on the flipside,
I've spend hours reading beautiful books. Cooking, taking pictures! I've taken walks in the woods while listening to pretty music and written so many silly little blurbs in my pretty journals, my head feels so much clearer. We were not meant to have twenty-four hour, constant knowledge of everything going on in our world. It's information overload and I was suffering big time from it. It fueled a lot of anxiety, depression and feelings that are completely ineffable to me even months after feeling them.
So, moral of the story. Sometimes, it's nice just to think about the pleasant things of life. To get away from it all and lay it down. Don't forget to give your all to fulfilling pastimes, like art or music or reading and writing. And give yourself carefully to social media, so that it doesn't become such an addiction that when you realize you're going to be living without it, you feel like you're gonna vomit and cry!
"Take me out to sea
Away from you and me
Let me float
Lead me out to sea
Let me go
Let me rise towards the sky
Let me take in this light
Let the shore disappear from sight
I'm caught in your undertow
Caught in your undertow
Caught in your undertow"
I have not so easily forgotten this blog, trust me. Last week was just sort of a blur of so many things, and I just couldn't blog. So! How's about an update? Yeah, let's do that.
I got myself a fifty mm lens and I couldn't be happier with the results. I've been shooting mostly on aperture priority mode to get myself the most bokah and a shallower depth of field. But something I totally did not expect was how bright and vivid the colors would be? It's quickly becoming my favorite lens.
Then, I got myself some new actions!
Greater Than Gatsby is a really awesome website to go to for actions. overlays and just general photography greatness. Plus it's a reference to The Great Gatsby, a book I have read four times and fangirled over for years. So that helps. ;)
On Saturday, my crazily talented and uberly cute sister Jenna had her Spring dance recital. She was the best, in my humble POV. And I'm not biased at all.
Seriously though, dance is so beautiful and such an underrated art form I think. I wish I could dance, but alas, I am but a lowly cucumber girl with two left feet and the sense of rhythm God gave a goose in a tornado. But at least Jenna and Janie can profinistantly and gracefully dance, I always enjoy watching them being talented. I'm such a proud big sister you guys, you have no idea.
Then, rushing home after the recital, I had the chance to do something I'd never done before, and that was photograph a spring formal.
I had a lovely subject. I kinda bossed her and her friends around at times...lol and I got a lot of dirt on me, and also sweat. But I was the lady wearing black and dark red in a park full of kids and their parents in short dresses and t-shirts while it was 89 degrees.
(I loved it)
Well, now I am sitting in bed in a hotel room in Panama City Beach, Flooooridaa, eating an inordinate amount of sweets, reading books on the beach and planning elaborate photoshoots at sunset. Expect a blogpost about that tomorrow..hopefully.
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds." Edward Abbey
Another one of those vacations I took thousands of pictures of but never did anything to them. The Smoky Mountains are probably our family's favorite place to go. Everything's better surrounded by moss and fog and misty, rainy days, right?